Paradise Perspective

…begins with a single step”, I think, as another inch of spun bamboo slips into the orifice of the wheel. Being of the West (ern paradigm where everything is measured and calculated), I timed the spinning of 3 grams to 14 minutes. I have over 400 grams to go. So this is going to take a while, and for sure it won’t be the only thing I work on. Having finished one large (baby blanket) project and several small ones (a hat, two pairs of socks), I am in the space between. For maximum comfort and productivity, I will have to start no less than 4 (and as many as 7) projects by the weekend. I’ve got a music thing (recording parts for the family reunion chorus) going, so that makes 2.

New Subject

While J and I were hiking on the ridge yesterday, we discovered Morel mushrooms up there (shhhh…..don’t tell anyone local–they guard known morel locations with their lives, and are always on the lookout for more). I haven’t even seen any since the late ’70s when I lived in Iowa. I heard they were here, too, but never saw any ’til now!! They are delicious for two weeks a year. We (J) took some pictures of them (and also a May Apple–especially prolific this season), and will wait for a few more to manifest before harvesting them for dinner. A few heavenly bites.

New Suject

A close personal friend with marital problems has been consuming me for a couple of weeks. I know she understands that her situation beats the hell out of most people’s. And I believe she will come to her senses before she completely jeopardizes the balance of the precious lives of those she loves the most. But I can’t help projecting about various scenarios that could conceivably result from certain choices at this juncture. If she were to split with her old man, will I then be required to choose which of them to include in my plans? Hmmm. How many others touched by this would face similar decisions? I remember when my first husband left me, I felt like my whole circle of friends left, too. They were still my friends, of course, but they felt torn, and since they had known him first they felt their loyalties lay there.

I can’t say for certain what it is that anybody needs. But I DO know this: Happiness is NOT the result of circumstances. It is the exact opposite. Happy circumstances are the result of the decision to BE happy. Looking outside of yourself for gratification and fulfillment will only perpetuate the necessity for you to do that. Finding that you are already complete will enable you to choose happiness in any scenario without the need for any permanent damage to the current participants.

Girl, I love you dearly, but get your head out of your butt because your choice now will affect many peoples’ choices in the future.

I’m not going to post what the scale read, but I am thoroughly disgusted with myself. This past winter had me so complacent what with not running or doing any yoga, and mostly spinning and knitting. Although I have produced some of my best work ever, there is no balance here.

Yesterday, I ran (jog-hopped) almost a mile–better than I thought I’d be able to do considering I haven’t run since Thanksgiving. Then I made the mistake of weighing myself. My niece, Megan (our three sons) posted about being a stress eater , and it occurred to me that I don’t actually experience much stress anymore, but the one thing that DOES stress me out is how fat I am, and guess what–I eat (or want to) when that happens!

This is a really great challenge for putting some of the concepts of the Law of Attraction to work. The effort required here is more about my mental focus. I do believe that I can get healthy by focusing my thoughts on good health, but then I must let myself be guided to eat right (and move), also. What makes me NOT eat right is the desire for the physical gratification of yummy (cookies, m&ms, chips) stuff. Short term grat. Refocusing on the long term results of disciplined activity and healthy eating will accomplish what eating with abandon (and sitting, mostly) hasn’t.

There is nothing difficult about this. Everything we do is out of habit. The initial attention to changing any habit is the hardest part. Wrenching my hand from the cookie jar is not the point. Paying attention to where my hand is off to, is. Foresight, insight, mindfulness, these are mental acuities, and if my attention is on these, my hand will not necessitate wrenching!!

Of course, I haven’t addressed the fact that possibly a bigger problem might be that being fat is an issue to begin with. I don’t particularly like myself this way, and it might be more important to love and accept myself no matter what. Unconditionally. I would treat myself with more respect. Fat or not.

Benni has tagged me–she was the only one I tagged the first time, and now we’re going backwards, so I can tag Madeline (academom) , Joan (nosparetime), and Heather (runningburro)!!

Five things in each of the following categories:

10 years ago, I was:

1. Living in Chesapeake, Va 2. Making EarthChairs 3. Singing with Sweet Adelines 4. Singing in Quartet du Jour 5. Taking care of my 2-year-old Hannah!!

Today’s to do list:

1. Spin wool 2. Ply wool 3. Knit wool 4. Card some alpaca 5. Spin alpaca

Snacks I enjoy:

1. m&ms 2. Mint Milanos 3. Chex mix (home made only) 4. Apples and cheese 5. Herbal tea

If I was a billionaire, I would:

1. Set up legacy accounts at my favorite charities. 2. Pay off all debt for myself and all family members. 3. Make sure they all have houses and cars. 4. Make my place on the mountain bigger and more functional (go solar). 5. Travel

My bad habits:

1. I’m obsessed with all things fiber (bad from some perspectives, good from others) 2. Must talk philosophy at least once a day. 3. Sitting (to spin, knit, play computer games, etc.) 4. Skipping breakfast. 5. Still haven’t mastered patience where it’s most important.

Pet peeves:

1. bad grammar, spelling and usage. 2. Negative judgments. 3. Defensiveness 4. Noise 5. That all the things that annoy me, I am usually guilty of.

Places I’ve lived:

1. Webster County WV 2. Chesapeake, Va 3. Ceiba, Puerto Rico 4. Waukegan, Ill 5. Lincoln Ne. (those are just the LAST five!)

Jobs I’ve had:

1. Dilly Bar maker 2. Cottage parent for 17 HS girls 3. Chicago cab driver 4. Dressmaker 5. Business owner.

After a couple of (really fun) weeks with kids and g-kids, I’m bursting with new ideas for speculation.

First, I am not superior to anyone.  I have had experiences others haven’t, and I have learned things that others have yet to, but the same is true of every single entity.  Second, I am not inferior to anyone by the same token.

The things we learn are contributions to the whole, and every lesson ever learned by anyone, ever, is what the whole has become (and is becoming).

Now that I understand this, I can focus on learning things, and integrating those lessons that I believe will benefit the whole.  Because if it doesn’t benefit the whole, it can’t possibly benefit me or any other individual entity.

When an altercation arises, we feel that it is paramount to establish which party is right.  How does that benefit the whole?  A better approach would be an attempt to accept the fact that both perspectives are correct from some viewpoint.  A personal victory over someone else’s stand is not any victory, but a minimization of one’s own perspective in relation to all perspectives.  In other words, if any point of view can be dominated, all points can, and no perspective can stand alone.

My whole thought process is erroneous!

Here is yet another example of how we have accepted a single interpretation of something, and collectively subscribed to it without question. The commandment, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor” means “Don’t lie”. Does it?

Actually, to bear has more to do with holding something than giving something up. And witnessing is more about observing than telling or saying anything. Bearing witness might just be about “seeing” something as it really is.

So…God is everywhere. There is no place where God isn’t. God (Love) is really all there is. When we see our neighbor as not only someone separate from us, but someone NOT Love, we could be bearing false witness.  Jesus said, “Whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren, that you do unto me”.  We see Jesus as God, or at least a prime manifestation of God’s love, and He is telling us that if we DON’T see someone else that way, we are NOT seeing Him that way either.

When you think about the accepted interpretation, to not lie, the command becomes an excuse to judge. We can’t really know Truth from inside the confines of the third dimension, so the whole deal is batting it around like a tennis ball into each others’ courts. Truth can only be a perspective here, and cannot be adequately judged from any perspective, like or not.

There is a command in an Eastern philosophy that says: “See God in everyone”. I think the command to NOT bear false witness is supposed to mean the same thing. Do not see anyone differently from who they really are in eternity.

This would have a profoundly different effect on our behavior than not lying. ‘Course, not too many people obey that commandment anyway.

Since my last post, we have not encountered our neighbor, however we ourselves have been through some changes. After J was outside putzing most of the day, he came in and told me that S’s little hissy was a blessing. J not only addressed the issue of containment (as well as possible, ie blocking Bruce and Hammie’s regular passageways off the mtn), but also began planning our meadow clearing project we’ve been trying to get to for two years. This is awesome. We can’t fence in the whole fourteen acres, but we can make it more desirable for the sheep so they might not want to leave.

While he was outside working, I broke out some nice dark brownsheep wool and spun fat singles for a pair of men’s socks. I will also make a pair for S (the chick)

We will make a formal apology and indicate our intention to try containing the boys. I will show them why I have sheep in the first place, and present the socks as peace offerings. We feel that will be sufficient response on our part.

We are going to withhold any judgment or expectation regarding their response to us. I am still at peace and their happiness remains their choice.

We are grateful for this opportunity to solve a problem peacefully, and I forgive myself for my initial defensiveness, and them for not being nice about my sheep pooping on their porch. Amen.

In the seven years since we’ve been on this mountain, no one has lived close by.  Last summer, a young couple moved in to the house at the bottom.  I have spoken to them on several occasions and made every effort to establish a friendly rapport.  Silly me.

Yesterday J and I hiked down to our mailbox (which is right by their house), and while we were retrieving our mail, S(the guy) came by in his car and stopped.  He doesn’t want my sheep around. Since the gate which used to be on their porch has somehow been disabled, my animals go there.  I’m not so sure it happened more than once, but he was agitated and demanding that I fix it.

Granted, he is in the right, legally and ethically.  But he is so angry.

In my desire to be communicative and have peace with these people, I tried to engage in an exchange concerning possible solutions.  But because his only concern was righteous anger (finding fault, placing blame), adult communication was not an option.  John tried to coerce me off up the hill, but I got sucked in.  Even though he’s right, I wanted him to be nice about it, and because he couldn’t be, I reverted back to my old self.  I can be oh so self righteous as well.  Told him he was being a dick after he threatened to take a shit on my porch.

I finally left promising to sweep off any sheep turds I see until we can figure something else out.  This morning I put them a baby gate up where their broken one used to be.  (I’m trying to make a vague reference here to the fact that they destroyed the thing that kept the sheep off).  When we returned from S-ville, the gate was on the ground by our mailbox.  A feeble attempt at resolution, but nonetheless an attempt.

After J and I talked about it, we think that S (the guy) might just really need something to control.  Then J saw another neighbor who indicated that S wants to control everything and everybody, and is not getting along with anyone around here.

I do not want to have enemies for my nearest neighbors.  And I do not want to be consumed with anxiety over this contention (or any).  Whatever will unfold in regard to this situation, I’m trusting the universe to guide me when action is needed, and send love and blessings the rest of the time it occurs to me.

I’m so different than I used to be.

Just returned from a 3-day visit with my folks. Dad is losing it. He always knew who I was, and J (lost J a few times the last visit), but kept referring to my sister Rose–the one who’s always there and does everything–as ‘that nice lady who takes me for walks sometimes’. Looking at pictures of us all, dad needs to be reminded most of their names and who they belong to (whose husband, whose kids/g-kids). While reading riddles in the paper to us, he couldn’t stay on the same riddle for the answer, and then kept reading the same ones over and over. Trying to make trivial conversation is not possible for him because he forgets his point before he can finish verbalizing the thought. Most times the thoughts themselves were indecipherable for us.

So I’m there with him thinking how much, despite all of my understandable grudges from the past (walking on eggshells because of his often ill-tempered demeanor, not ever being able to discuss a topic on which we disagreed, and especially the way he has constantly criticized and found fault with mom, etc.), I love this man deeply (and have gotten my musical skill and mechanical aptitude partially from his genes).

I can’t let what he knows or doesn’t know change anything. We must love him and each other through this. And taking the whole thing a step further (as I am likely to do), loving each other through all of this (third dimensional life) is the point always. So why does what we know or don’t know EVER matter?

We just have to let it all go at some point.

This is going to be like tarot: Not that someone has to die, but that serious change is imminent. The death card is about change, and this is important because we all draw the death card occasionally. We are not victims of this death, we must be the perpetrators of it.

Something about me–the way I feel, the way I respond to something, the way I want something to be different–is wrong or undesirable. It is likely that I will see it as someone else’s wrongdoing that I am responding to, and THEY are the ones who should change so that I can feel better. First, this is hardly ever the case and second, what another does (says, feels, etc.) is never a good excuse to feel negative. I can only control ME, and if I control me, I can decide to feel peace no matter what!!

It is important, when looking to achieve an attitude of unconditional love, to establish an unprecedented trust. Faith that wherever our lives take us, all will be well. All IS well and has always been well, even when I did not subscribe to it’s wellness because I was busy looking for an excuse to feel sorry for myself or be offended. Even while I waited for another to take responsibility for my happiness. Even while I believed I just needed such-and such, or this-or-that to just be over (or start).

Happiness, peace, salvation–all the same thing–all dependent on one thing only: My choice to be happy, peaceful, liberated.

My choice is to be love without conditions, and perpetrate death upon any other feeling that is in contention. Kill it. It’s not real and it won’t let you be at peace as long as you give it any energy whatsoever. And living in peace is more important.

There is wisdom to be gained by studying ancient history.  But that wisdom isn’t (for me) exactly “new knowledge” as much as establishing a new way to look at what we supposedly already know.  First off, most of what we “know” is perspective, and really narrow perspective at that.  Thinking that what mankind illustrates in the present is the apex of evolution in any sense, physical, mental or spiritual is erroneous.

There is an amazing amount of incontrovertible evidence that we were flying way before the last century, and have been visited repeatedly by other worlds (and/or dimensions).  That we ourselves came from outside the earth is also in evidence.

These ideas do not compute within the present paradigm and so are dismissed off-handedly, ignored, misinterpreted, perverted, or otherwise debunked.  And we have bound ourselves with this ignorance.

The point here is not what is or isn’t real, but what we will allow ourselves to entertain within the confines of our limitations.  If we believe our (God’s) creative power is NOT limited, then these ideas would not make us feel threatened or fearful in any way.  (Or condescending.)

Jesus told Thomas at the last supper that “No one can go to heaven who didn’t come from there,” and “You know where it is and how to get there.”  (my paraphrasing)

We already know everything, we always did.  I think that the consummation of any philosophy is death, and salvation is rebirth outside any limitation.  And although physical death is indicated, it is not completely necessary.