Paradise Perspective

Returned from Syracuse last night. In spite of an annoying bug that desended upon some of us, I enjoyed an especially fun visit.

My g-boy (Jack, 8 ) plays hockey and I got to attend a practice on Fri which very few of his teemmates attended, so J was in great form. Also attended one of H’s dance classes–she is excellent. John and I participated in a turkey run on Thurs with M and a few of her friends. It was cold and rainy, but we both finished and it was a good start for the day. Fran and her family arrived that afternoon and we went to Joan’s for their dessert party. Had our feast on Fri, and it was awesome. I refuse to criticize the food as that wasn’t the point. The love around the table was the point, and we ate. A bunch.

Now the trip is over, and I’ll be looking forward to the next visit. They are always over too fast. I love being with my kids.

Thank you.

There is an evident dichotomy to the ideas and ideals that I am trying to integrate into my life and being.  On the one hand, I want to believe and understand that I have access to the wisdom, presence and power that are inherent in all the universe of which I am an important part.  In order for these elements to be available to me, consciousness of separation cannot abide.  Any and all criticism and judgment toward anything or anyone in the universe must summarily be also against myself.

This becomes an incredible liberation in that, first, “Do unto others…” has a more profound application and second, so much energy and attention are expended on criticism and judgment that may now be focused on more constructive and creative endeavors.

On the other hand, I have not yet gotten to the point where I can do that and also be mindful in the moment for the purpose of accomplishing my immediate project.  One of the gifts I have been working on took three start-overs before I was able to complete it (still not to my satisfaction).

This indicates one of two things:  Either I am not confident in the universal power and wisdom to guide me and am still wanting to be in charge, or I do not focus enough attention on the finished perfection of each project before I begin.  Maybe both.

See how much mental work is involved here, and how the elimination of criticism and judgment could free up the mind for more important purposes.  Anyway, I haven’t written in a few days because I have been complaining so much (another big waste of time and energy).  I have now completed the gifts I want to give on Sat (our Christmas with the kids), and I am feeling so grateful for having been able to participate.

 The process could have been much easier and also more enjoyable, and I believe that in the near future, it will always be. 

Do what you love, love what you do.

I have been tagged, and am now required to talk about myself—one of my favorite things to do!!

1. I love getting old. It’s an opportunity for me to illustrate the idea that state of mind has way more to do with the course of aging than anything else. Pushing sixty (hard) is not a time to go downhill. I’m still climbing and will continue to do so. I have known many old people who were bitter, angry, sick and frightened. I’m too busy to be any of those things, and I love that I am. I’m grateful for the insight that is gained just by the passing of time, and look forward to even more profound understanding as I get older. I love having seniority, and I assert it often.
2. Most of my dreams have come true. To name a couple: Home births (and amazing children), gardens, playing music and singing (especially barbershop), theater (directing “Godspell”), living on a mountaintop with cool animals (twice!), and amazing grandchildren. I’d still like to experience being filthy rich so I could see more of the world, and produce an electric “Messiah”.
3. I’m always doing exactly what I want to. My husband has taken over the kitchen so I hardly ever cook or do dishes, and only occasionally clean house (for company, usually). So I am free to spin, weave, knit, and generally play with all my favorite toys.
4. My children are my best friends. Their families are wonderful (I totally scored in the son-in-law department!), and as far as I can tell, they enjoy my company as much as I do theirs. There is no greater blessing in my book.
5. Speaking and writing positive changes as though they have already manifested is the act of creating these changes. Focusing on undesirable circumstances perpetuates them. For this reason I have not used this meme for a bitchfest. Everything that exists is effect. Change comes at the causal level, and every thought is a cause. (Had to get philosophy in there—I’m all about it). We are living in an awesome time, right now. The consciousness of our species is in the process of making a quantum ascension, and we get to participate!
6. I love all the seasons, but autumn is my favorite, followed closely by winter. The woodstove is going, the colors are unparalleled, and I’m not sweating much at all. And as I said earlier in this blog, the frenzy of creating gifts for Christmas consumes me in a very good way. I have mostly tried to make the “giving” be more of myself than one of purchasing, and (yet more gratitude) thankful for the talent and inclination to advance not only the activity, but the example. I love receiving home-made stuff the best, too
7. I sit on a yoga ball at the computer. Thank you, M, for it (I stole it from M). The chair gave out and as the ball was handy, I used it and now I love it!

All but one of the blogs I read have already been tagged. M will graciously assist me in establishing the appropriate link.

Thanks for including me. I tag Benni.

The single most difficult time to be conscious of my thoughts is when I am engaging in an exchange that is repetitive–the habitual dances we do with each other. When someone finds fault with me, a thing that I aspire to NOT do, my old habits kick in. Without thinking I revert back to defensive mode (or counter fault finding, or other counter offense). Another tendency is to expect the other person involved to be the first to change. That would make it so much easier for me!!

It is getting easier, when I finally realize that we’re doing it again, to stop and breathe before speaking more, but if I’m already halfway into the dance, there are no good responses. My silence, then, becomes another offense. Or can be perceived as ignorance or stupidity.

Now, I can get creative: It can’t matter what my words (or silence) mean to the other participant. I know what my intentions are, and I am confidant that they are positive. I am feeling good and there is no better way to be. Period. Breathe, and be responsible for ME.

Wayne Dyer says, “Don’t complain, don’t explain.” Why worry about something that is only a preference, and there’s no need to defend a position that you, yourself, understand and believe in.
Where there can be a sharing of ideas and respect for differences, spiritual growth and creativity abound. Where differences are perceived as threats, you must change your mind. I have not established my difference from you for the purpose of threatening you. We are only different, and that is a good thing.

Be different, and be ok with it.

I noticed an interesting thing.  While I am learning to monitor my thoughts (and ultimately direct them for the purpose of creating consciously), I find myself trying to put each thought and thought process into language that I can then blog.  I begin having dialogue with myself to make sure that what I am thinking or trying to think will be communicable and understandable to others.  On the heels of that, I start to edit for the purpose of attractiveness.

M always asks me’ “Who is your audience?” or “Who do you want your audience to be?”

I’m not really sure, but I’m now beginning to think it’s me.  I need to know that what I’m thinking and moving toward makes sense to me and that I am able to communicate it clearly to myself.  Beyond that, I’m not sure I need to be concerned.  After all, anyone who has questions about meaning or context will ask them.  It might also be important to give readers enough credit, and not assume the necessity for more extensive explanation than my own needs dictate.  Some may even need less.

You can see, here, that my thoughts are in dire need of monitoring.  While I think about thinking, my thoughts sort of take their own ride while I spin my wheels—not really getting anywhere substantial.

 A good Sunday morning post, ya think?  Be Love.

Since we will be scattered at Christmas, we are doing our family holiday gift exchange on T-giving. So I have 3 weeks to finish everything. Not really concerned, but nonetheless in total Christmas present-making mode. As usual, I want to finish more than I will have time for, but I love the visions of mass productivity and creative frenzy. It’s way more fun for me making than them receiving. Some might argue, but I stand firm on this, and am so grateful for all of it. I would love to outline some of the projects, but as my children are my main readers, I will steel myself for the purpose of surprise.

My daughter, M, has registered us all to run (or walk) a 5k on turkey day. Big surprise (speaking of surprises). Good thing, tho, since I need a reason to get my butt out there and run a few times a week. After a week-long rain, I went out this week and ran first 1 then 1 and a half mi. Although it doesn’t take long to lose it, it also doesn’t take long to get it back.

I have been doing the “Five Tibetans”, a yoga routine, with my husband for the last month. We have been doing morning and evening and have only missed one day. This particular group of poses is especially rejuvenating, and in just a month, I can see an expansion in my range of motion and overall strength.

It might not be apparent to some, but these manifestations of growth and self-improvement are direct results of the course of my spiritual/philosophical path. I have read and studied philosophy and spirituality for over half my life, but have never been able to make such profound application. There is no general timeline for such opening up, nor is there any specific direction or course of events to indicate progress. Each of us will get to where we are going. There’s no hurry—we have all eternity.

There is one thing, though. I believe I cover ground more quickly when I can relax.