I took a few days to travel, and see parents, sisters and their kids and grandkids. Had a really great visit–mom is well, dad is the same–a little slower. On the way home we grabbed my son and his daughter (Tucker and Charlotte) to be on the mountain for a week, and we were also joined by Frannie and her whole family. After it rained and kept us inside for the most part the first couple of days, we were out full force on Tuesday. Early in the afternoon, I did something to my back. Not sure exactly, I was petting the dogs and when I stood up, I couldn’t stand up.
Certainly, I was disappointed that I was unable to participate in the hiking and outside activities with my family, but the biggest part of this experience has been the humility.
I spent the rest of the day Tuesday, all day Wednesday and all of Thursday horizontal. I needed help to turn over. Over the course of those three days, my mobility slowly returned (Fran, the masseuse, worked on me several times, which probably reduced the recovery time considerably). Though not able to raise my trunk at all (my legs would not support anything), I was able by Thursday night to come to a sitting position. By Friday morning I could stand with help.
First of all, pain sucks. But worst of all, if you ever couldn’t go potty without assistance, you haven’t lived. I’ve wiped many butts (and held many barfing heads), but I never had to have anyone hold a container to catch my waste, and then clean me up. What a lesson. For me to have to allow myself that exposure was a challenge. John and Fran helped without even flinching. It is possible that there is some such person in everyone’s life, but I believe I am blessed beyond belief.
Fran, Jeff and Char played cards with me, Tucker came in and serenaded, the little ones brought their duplos in to build towers and rockets to show me, and J, of course, was ever in the vicinity, ready to serve in any way. Rose stayed with me, too, and was especially accommodating, fetching and such.
Today is Sunday, and I can walk some and sit up, but still need help getting up and down, and cannot yet lower myself to the toilet (or stand from there). Neither can I reach the back to wipe.
I’ll be grateful when I’m back to normal–giving myself ’til Tuesday, but I am equally grateful for this experience. At one point, F indicated the need to open my heart chakra. I thought is was open, but I have so far to still go. Every experience has some important element for us–some are more apparent than others, and more severe. If I can get these things from less extreme situations, I might not have to suffer the severities. Mindfullness is most assuredly the key.
Baby steps.
