Happy Winter Solstice!!

Amazingly, and contrary to popular belief: THIS is the ‘reason for the season’. It is a proven, yet ignored fact that Jesus was actually born sometime in March. The early Christians adjusted the celebration of the birth of Christ to coincide with the festival that most of the people were already celebrating since the dawn of awareness.

The solstice is the marking of the planetary cycle that results in decreasing and increasing of sunlight. Yule, the shortest day of the year is the end of the decrease, the returning of the light, as it were.

Not only have the Christians taken possession of the holiday/celebration, they are now trying to dictate how we manifest our festivities.

Silly, really, since none of it matters. What’s important is to be true to ourselves. Giving and sharing are always acceptable activities whatever time of the year it is, and many of the people who bemoan the outrageous spending at this time forget the increased income from the burst in commercialism.  (Personally, I spend very little, preferring to give creations of mine instead.  This is not because of how wonderful I am and how superior to those who buy stuff, but because I have so much crap I made and Christmas is a good excuse to get rid of it!!)

Also, it’s the capitalist way. It’s what this great country of ours is built on. The freedom to buy and sell goods and services at our discretion is the very thing the lost lives of so many men has purchased (also, the freedom to worship/practice spirituality of our CHOICE).  Looks like a contradiction to me.

We are burning sage and juniper for cleansing.  We will bake something with the sun on it.  Also I’m resolving, in the coming year,  to do whatever I want without guilt or regret.  It’s time.

Please have wonderful holidays.  I reiterate that everyone should celebrate in whatever way suits you, and to respect and honor the ways of others.  This is the only peaceful way.  Be love.

It was much harder to anticipate than it is now to accept.

Last Friday, my father fell and fractured his hip. In the hospital since then, he endured (as much as he could comprehend) x-rays, CAT scans, a heart endurance test, IV needles. The good doctors concurred that surgery would be beneficial.  We all agonized over the ordeal he would face with recovery.  Until he fell, he was still able to stand and walk and getting him back to that was their goal.

Mom prayed for God to spare him from this ordeal and her prayer has been answered.  Dad died yesterday afternoon.

He was many things, my dad.   Most obviously manifested in my life and my family is his music.  We are all full with this expression, sometimes loud and obnoxious, that is his legacy.  Family gatherings were always filled with singing amid all manner of gaiety.   He played his accordion in many places with countless different assemblages, far into his 80’s!!

So, although his body has run it’s course and retired, the energy that is eternally my dad will go on in our hearts, and be always profoundly present in every gathering where music and song abound.  Which is every single gathering of this family.

It’s all good.

Thanksgiving was a total blast. Madeline and her family rolled in early Wed, and that night some friends we’ve known since Puerto Rico came (for three days!). We cooked great Pizzas that night. Then on Thanksgiving day, Fran and her family arrived. We hiked before and after dinner that day. On Friday, we had a Mexican feast with John’s amazing Chicken Fajita Nachos, bean dip, salad and, of course, turkey and ham leftovers. We were able to get some hiking in before the precip on Fri (it snowed/rained).  We played music and sang our little hearts out (duh).

After everyone left, Fran and the boys stayed a few days, and we recorded some of Frannie’s songs. She is a prolific writer. Fun with the multi-trak. We did guitar, vocals, harmonies, and even percussion!

Then after the wind took out the power on Wed last week (and Rose’s deck door. and part of a wall), we headed up to York, Pa (sans J) for Hannah’s Christmas show. I can’t say enough what a natural dancer she is. Watching her fluid, graceful performance ususally brings a tear or two. Sincerely.

Rose and I drove back on Sunday (was hoping to catch Jack in a hockey game, but didn’t want to drive home in the dark, raining/snowing).  Came home to a fully repaired Roseyroom, and a clean, warm, ham-and-bean smelling house! My husband rocks!

Yesterday, I didn’t do a thing. (read, did some puzzles) Today I’m warping the loom. It’s an all-day job, but once done, the weaving goes quickly. I’m hoping to get three batches of kitchen towels done before the next melee.

Believing all are blessed always, and focusing on the coming cyclic return of the light. Honor this in whatever way suits you, and respect the ways of others without criticism or judgment. Be love.

I make socks all the time for everybody. This summer we got to see some of our nieces and nephews out west that we haven’t seen in many years. Lots of them have their own families, now.

I try to send socks to the bride and groom when there is a wedding, but I sort of got behind since I have three children with children!

So this summer I went prepared to present socks to the couples I would be seeing.  The kids all thought they should have some, too.  So I measured all their feet and promised they’d have some by the time it got cold.

Last week I sent them out, and Ben, a nephew in Omaha, took these awesome pictures of their feet.

How much fun for me!!

Alysse is happy with hers, and the rest of the family, too!

Stay warm this winter, guys, and thanks again, Ben!

I am the last leaf to fall

In the spring, I burst forth
With the rest of them
I was rich and dark green
Photosynthesizing the elements
I soaked up energy from sun and rain
I nursed earthy nutrients from the momtree

Now, I hold on tenaciously
And wave to those going before me
Unobstructed, the view is lovely
My green is now yellow, now red
I wait for the wind to come out of the north
Turning slightly to catch it,
I let go, sailing southward into the hollow
Dancing, floating, liberated.
My whole life was for this

Next, I become earthy nutrients
To dance with next year’s Last Leaf

Since I posted last, I have been back to Chicago twice to help my sisters with my folks. Stressful times. Dad has been on his cath for a few months. I think I mentioned somewhere earlier that it is permanent. This means that someone has to put dad to bed and get him up in the morning. The nighttime bag hangs on the bed frame, and the daytime bag is attached to his leg with elastic bands. The details of this process can easily be imagined. The most difficult part is that each time we change, dad wonders what all this stuff is.

This last time, we have added brushing teeth and shaving. He still does the teeth himself, but must be monitored. We shave him.

He tried so many times to talk–wanting to engage or connect with me–but is unable to complete a sentence before losing the thought. Trying to smile and pat his hand, or hug him and give him some assurance that we are most assuredly connected regardless, was little comfort to him, I think.  He usually knew who I was, or he pretended he did.  Once he asked if I was one of his, and once he asked me if I was the oldest or what.

He is on a waiting list for a room at a nursing home, but it could be the first of the year before one of the residents dies to make room.  I have some apprehension concerning his ability to adjust, but it will be a great relief to my mom and sisters who are all angels.

On the home front, John has made some awesome improvements here.  Since I’m a moron with a camera, J will have to get me some shots to post, which I will, soon.

Missed you guys.

It’s hard to remember and be mindful of the fact:  We have been conditioned (or, rather, have collectively conditioned ourselves) to see everything backwards.  For sure.  Everything in materiality is a RESULT of energy already generated.  If a situation is undesirable, changing the causative energy is the only possible course of action.

Also, our energy is not the result of the situation.  It is the choice we make in response.  The anger I feel at your stupidity is not the result of your stupidity, it is my evaluation and judgment of it.  MINE.  I am the only one responsible for how I feel.  Ever.  I always have the choice to see your perfection and respond with amazing love to anything, without the judgments and evals.

In a very real sense, our choice to not see the perfection (God) in everyone and everything, is the cause of all our dificulties.  And so whatever challenges we face are our gifts to ourselves for the  purpose of growth and expansion.

Any path toward anything must, by association, be beset with challenges. In order to accomplish any type of growth or progress, whether physical, intellectual, or spiritual, challenges to be met are inherent in it’s nature.

While in town for provisions yesterday, my Rosie (who has avidly participated in my ten-day diet for the first four days) was mortified to discover that we would NOT be getting fast food or Mexican for lunch. Insisted that she can’t keep up eating like this without some “real food”. After an afternoon of serious discomfort, I was able to ease her into the idea that she not give up. She really has done so well–even taking the specified meals to work and resisting on her own the temptations of candy and soda. She has lost 5 pounds and knows (on some level) how proud and great she will feel after we reach our 20 pound goal. She conceded to not give up, but we had pesto for dinner (w/ww pasta), and she might be thinking that the days of fruit and vegs are over. We will see later today.

Facing challenges of my own on a different front. In the process of understanding the power of the energy we generate through our thoughts and emotions, my goal is, of course, to be not only conscious of what they are in any given moment, but to also consciously generate certain positive energy as a rule. My challenge seems to be getting any energy up at all.

However, observing that I am pretty much at peace all the time, remembering to relax into it in times of heat (“crap, I f’d that up and must pull out several rows to change it!”), is much less of a challenge than it used to be. It could be that peace itself is the best of all energies, which is, sort of, the absence of any energy at all. I suspect, though, that at some point, I will be able to identify an ideal energy for whatever the circumstance, and generate it spontaneously as opposed to having to change from one energy to another.

Saving myself a step, as it were.

Been busy, but it’s not an excuse. Have enjoyed traveling to visit, and having all of my grandkids here at some point over the last month (and all of my kids!).

I’m making another trip to Chicago this week to take up the slack for my sisters for a few days.

But the real reason for my silence is that I’m dancing with some ideas that I’m not quite ready to clarify and express. Notice that I’m now ‘dancing’ rather than ’struggling’.

Some of the ways in which I perceive this reality have morphed interestingly. Instead of understanding the different way I might need to be, I’m somewhat closer to being already there. Several times while the kids were here, and we engaged in our habitual response to the stress, I was right there. My body is still doing the same things for the most part, but I’m able to objectify more readily. This facilitates deeper understanding not only of the process, but the unlimited options available to us (me) minute by minute.

As I said before, I’m not quite ready to express all of this in a coherent way yet, but it seems to be commencing unfoldment. Relaxing continues to be the key.

This is definitely something I will work on if I keep blogging.

We went on the road for the 4th and hit:  Chicago, Omaha, Lincoln, Grand Island, and Council Bluffs (Neola).  And I didn’t take any pictures.  J has a new camera, so I figured he’d be all over everyone taking them, but he was waiting for me to tell him, and I was busy!

Spent a day with my folks, and all my sisters were there. 

Saw several friends on Friday and music buddies that night. (no pics)

Sat., in Iowa, partied with former band mates and their extended families.  Played music all day and then watched fireworks.  (me and Smitty playing)

Sunday, partied with some of J’s family in O after driving to GI to see his mom.  Saw Inta and Mary Lou (sisters) and met 4 of his grand-nieces–all just dollys.  (He took a picture of them)

I’m so grateful to Inta and Sue G for hosting get-togethers for us.   We got to see more people we love that way!!

Long-ass drive, but well worth it:  J drove mostly, and if it’s light out, I’m knitting!

Love my mountain, though!  Always good to get back home.