Ignobility

May 31, 2008 at 5:26 pm (rambling)

I looked ignoble up in the dictionary, and several definitions ranged from “base, NOT noble” to “obscure or unknown”. Ignobility, then, would be the condition of being rude, or that of just being, sort of, allusive(?).

I have exactly five projects in the works right now: a (creamy) bamboo shirt that just needs sleeve cuffs, a (hot pink) silk halter that needs bound off and ties, a (dark khaki) alpaca short-sleeved jacket that only needs sleeves, a (warm brown) wool cardigan with a tangled cable yoke, the body is half done, and a (mocha latte) alpaca lacy mobius w/ matching fingerless gloves in the spinning stage. I also died a pound of white finnsheep fleece dark rose red, but it hasn’t told me what it wants to be yet. The hot pink silk is the only fiber (of these) that I didn’t spin, and I actually have three wheels going with different fibers (and textures, too, actually).

I’m posting this ramble today, because it has been days since any of the bloggers I read have posted, so maybe I can get the ball rolling, here. Just when I need to read you guys because I can’t think of anything to post, you all go dry!!

I’m reading a book by James Allen, written 107 years ago called “As a Man Thinketh”. Oldest yet possibly the most profound work in my possession. The technology of our thought process and it’s effect on our reality is old news. That we generally do not subscribe to any responsibility for our reality is also not new. If we could get that changing this process is simple yet liberating, and not nearly as burdensome as one might imagine, all we need is an openness to the idea, and a sincere desire for positive change.

An interesting thing for me, is that being patient-my biggest perceived obstacle-is just a matter of being relaxed no matter what. Relaxing does not require any effort whatsoever. It is the opposite of effort!  Who would’ve thought that the most important and productive thing I could ever do in any situation is to NOT exert any effort. The integration of this one ideal has completely disrupted my normal flow. There are lots of times when normally I could run on and on about whatever, and I’m not talking. Extended silence on the phone is where I notice it the most. Being patient with myself undermines my desire to be constantly assertive.

This is kind of different.

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Uninspired

May 21, 2008 at 2:46 pm (family, philosophy)

I was in Chicago for a few days.  Wanted to post before I left–thinking I may not get a chance there– but didn’t.  Thought I’d do a post when I got back, but haven’t yet.  So I’m posting today about not posting.

I am more and more conscious of the connectedness of all people and all things, and I am able to be in a relaxed state more and more of the time, but writing about these things seems redundant at this point.  I was hoping to have some exchanges on my trip that would spark dissertation, but alas, our conversations revolved around ordinary relationships and the current condition of my father.

My church-going relatives there do not want to discuss their faith, what it means, what it could mean, etc.  Most are rooted so profoundly in their belief system (generally–not religiously), and have found some comfort in the commonly accepted insanity, that to challenge their thought process is to challenge them personally.  They don’t realize that what I want is for them to challenge ME!!  But no exchange will ever get to that point, since it goes beyond  offendedness  where none are likely to tread.

I enjoyed myself in their company because I love them all no matter what, but I wish I could share more of myself with them, and they could see how much more of themselves there is to share.  They don’t know they’re God.  I realize now, though, that my being able to SEE that light in them is more important than any verbal exchange that could possibly occur.

So, inspiration is happening, it’s just within and not yet manifesting as text.

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“A Journey of a Thousand Miles…

May 5, 2008 at 7:32 pm (life, philosophy, projects)

…begins with a single step”, I think, as another inch of spun bamboo slips into the orifice of the wheel. Being of the West (ern paradigm where everything is measured and calculated), I timed the spinning of 3 grams to 14 minutes. I have over 400 grams to go. So this is going to take a while, and for sure it won’t be the only thing I work on. Having finished one large (baby blanket) project and several small ones (a hat, two pairs of socks), I am in the space between. For maximum comfort and productivity, I will have to start no less than 4 (and as many as 7) projects by the weekend. I’ve got a music thing (recording parts for the family reunion chorus) going, so that makes 2.

New Subject

While J and I were hiking on the ridge yesterday, we discovered Morel mushrooms up there (shhhh…..don’t tell anyone local–they guard known morel locations with their lives, and are always on the lookout for more). I haven’t even seen any since the late ’70s when I lived in Iowa. I heard they were here, too, but never saw any ’til now!! They are delicious for two weeks a year. We (J) took some pictures of them (and also a May Apple–especially prolific this season), and will wait for a few more to manifest before harvesting them for dinner. A few heavenly bites.

New Suject

A close personal friend with marital problems has been consuming me for a couple of weeks. I know she understands that her situation beats the hell out of most people’s. And I believe she will come to her senses before she completely jeopardizes the balance of the precious lives of those she loves the most. But I can’t help projecting about various scenarios that could conceivably result from certain choices at this juncture. If she were to split with her old man, will I then be required to choose which of them to include in my plans? Hmmm. How many others touched by this would face similar decisions? I remember when my first husband left me, I felt like my whole circle of friends left, too. They were still my friends, of course, but they felt torn, and since they had known him first they felt their loyalties lay there.

I can’t say for certain what it is that anybody needs. But I DO know this: Happiness is NOT the result of circumstances. It is the exact opposite. Happy circumstances are the result of the decision to BE happy. Looking outside of yourself for gratification and fulfillment will only perpetuate the necessity for you to do that. Finding that you are already complete will enable you to choose happiness in any scenario without the need for any permanent damage to the current participants.

Girl, I love you dearly, but get your head out of your butt because your choice now will affect many peoples’ choices in the future.

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